Heading into the end of last year, something was off for me. At first, I thought I was bothered that my half-sabbatical was coming to an end—except I wasn't. Then I thought that perhaps I was experiencing some sort of soul-crushing boredom—except I don't know how to be bored when the world is so big and beautiful and I love my life.
What I was, I realized, was weary. This due to all the rah-rah people talking about how we should hurry up and do great, brave, happy, or big things before the end of the year, so that we could then turn the corner to 2014 and do more or bigger great, brave, happy, or big things. If only we’d step up, after all, we could crush it; we, could, at long last, live the amazing, on-full-tilt lives we were born to live. We could make more money. We could touch more lives. We could live the dream that we all, of course, naturally must have!
And now that we’ve turned the corner and 2014 is a reality, and we clearly haven’t yet crushed it, we’re getting more of the same messages, all meant to lead us to, well, more. Always more.
As it turns out, in addition to being weary, I was annoyed.I was annoyed that no one seemed brave enough to call bullshit on all of that, and say that it’s really ok to just be. It’s ok to be content with life—as it is. It’s ok to not want “more.” It’s ok to want to do good work that is personally and professionally fulfilling without having to make it seem bigger or badder than it actually is. It’s ok to not want to be “on” all the time. It’s ok to be quiet. It’s ok to be small. It’s ok to not wear your glad hat and happy face all the time. It’s ok to take off the mask and just be true-blue you.
I feel quite certain that there’s no more sacred work than de-masking. And when we wear the mask, we forget the very reason we’re here, living this life.
So I’m calling bullshit on the lot of it.
It is ok to just be, to be quiet, to be small.
It is ok to be content with life—as it is.
It is ok to want something that’s just enough.
It’s ok to want a bigger, bad-ass life and business, too.
I don’t. And if bigger badassery isn’t for you, let’s call bullshit on that, too.
My life, my way. Your life, your way. That’s what’s good and right. If it (however you’re being and whatever you’re doing) has meaning for you, just live it, for the love of all that's holy, and work it the way you want to. Feel gloriously free to disregard anyone who assaults your soul with their over-the-top, high-energied push that can’t possibly be sustained every waking moment of every day. If it drags you down, tires you out, leaves you feeling less than or like a slacker, walk away. from it, unsubscribe from it, stop giving it a second of your precious energy. While it will undoubtedly be something meant for someone, it is not meant for you.
We all really deserve what lifts us up and gladdens our hearts. And I am going on record, right this second…you deserve to live your life your way. And to pay attention to people who leave you feeling great about your self, your business, and your life. The amazingly tremendous thing is, you get to choose who to pay attention to, who to learn from, and what makes sense for your own life. There is no teacher who has the magic pill that will deliver you to the promised land. That magic is inside you and you just need to let it shine in the way(s) that are most meaningful for you. New Year; new you? Or New Year, same you as last year, just in a new day with a new date? Your way is perfect. Truly.
You know what I’m up for? Not resolutions, but revolutions. Quiet, gentle revolutions that are individually devised and precisely and perfectly sized. Revolutions that we can live with far into 2014 (and beyond!)instead of fizzling out in under a month. Revolutions that are real, not fictions we tell ourselves or buy into as decreed by others about who and how we need to be, especially now that ’14 has arrived. Revolutions that come from places deep inside our bellies that flutter wildly at being let off the hook, and rejoice in the relief of knowing that we don’t have to resolve anything, or resolve to do anything at all, unless it feels good and right to us. The present is perfect, indeed, and the future will be what we set up for it, in our time, and in our ways of doing that.
In my New Year’s revolution, there’s inner truth, not outer hype. There’s love, not fear masquerading as love. There's small groups and salons, not ballrooms and event spaces. There's intimacy, not trying to shout over the noise. There’s letting my life speak—quietly teaching the things I want to leave as my legacy. There’s service to others that I’m called to offer, not that I offer simply because I can make a gobsmack of money. And there’s money, too…enough; just enough for me.
Crafting my revolution, I realized that in addition to annoyance, there was also sadness. It’s probably actually the seat of the annoyance. I’m sad (and annoyed) especially with women business owners who, market and push round the clock. They market on their birthdays. They market on Christmas day. They market when they’re asleep. They market all the damn time, and even if automating things 24/7/365, they miss out on the fact that, instead of modeling balance and a way of thriving in business that’s shown by not even appearing to have to work all the time, they’re modeling that there is no time off (not really), that you have to work long, hard hours to be successful, and something flat-out akin to desperation and fear. In my revolution, I don't run on a gerbil wheel.
In my revolution this year, I wil model a success that doesn’t have me tied to promotion. I will model a success that speaks of enough time to work, and the rest of the time—the bulk of my time— to play and live and love. I will model a different way to be successful. I’ve been living it for 20 years. Some of you know this; if you didn’t, it was purely because I’ve been off living it, instead of selling it to you. I will continue that practice.
And you? If you’re down for something like this, I hope you’ll stick around and become an even more involved part of my community. I’d love to know you, truly, and bear witness as you create your own revolution for this beautiful New Year. ♥