Trust your knowing

When I first started AssistU in '97, I did a daily (well, five days/week) email blast called Daily Assistant. Back in the day, I used a majordomo to send it out, the only option was text, and there were no scheduling tools. That meant that I had to send it manually, so I had to be around to DO this thing every day.

It took three years, but I finally burned out. And when I did, I let the subscribers know that I was burned out, but after a break, would be back. 

What I did that day was, in essence, walk away from a list of close to 11,000 subscribers.

In reality, I never made it back. Well, not till I started VMoxie 5+ years ago. But that was five years after I'd told them I'd be back after a break, and I'm not sure that half a decade really counts as a "break," if you know what I mean.

I think I knew, the day I wrote that, that the chances that I'd be back were slim. And I think I said what I said to them because it felt like the appropriate thing to do, and because some part of me wasn't at all sure that I wouldn't be back after a break. 

But I knew. My body knew. I was SO exhausted from creating content every single day (this wasn't short, pithy content, either), from being there to write and post every day, from finding someone to post FOR me when I traveled for vacations and such. It was just hard.

And when I let it go, I just let go.

But the content is still in a directory on my hard drive. I was reading through some of it this weekend, and decided to tell you this story as an intro to reprinting something I wrote in 1997.  

As I read it just two days ago, I realized how applicable it still is today, and how glad I am that I let Daily Assistant go when it was a Problem, rather than waiting for a Crisis to happen (read below and those terms will make sense). I wish I'd let it go sooner. I wish I'd listened more carefully to my body, and to my heart. I wish I would have taken my own advise ;)

In case it's helpful, today's Bit O’Moxie is as follows:

Over the last several days, people have come to me with a personal or professional crisis. They wonder why these things happen to them.... why they find themselves in such uncomfortable places in work or relationships. 

And I believe that those things happen when we're not paying attention to signs and signals we see as we move through life. 

I believe in a four-step model about this. Here's what it looks like: 

Message ===> Lesson ===> Problem ===> Crisis 

Things show up in our lives first as Messages. These are the gentle rumblings inside which make us uneasy, or give us a sudden flash of intuition that something just isn't right. 

Usually, we ignore them. 

When we do, they come back to us as Lessons. A bit of a stronger message -- usually with some consequence involved, and something to learn. 

Sad to say, we often tend to ignore the Lessons as well. 

Lessons come back to us as Problems. When we have Problems, however, we try to manage the symptoms... find a fast fix for them, rather than looking at the root cause. 

Unfortunately, when we do, the fix isn't long-lasting, and the Problem turns into a Crisis. 

And it's only then.... when we're exhausted, or very ill, or distressed beyond measure, that we actually do something about it. 

Of course, it's in the middle of a Crisis that we look tearfully at friends or family and say something like, "You know, I knew that was going to happen! I just knew it." And we begin to recall the Messages and Lessons, and even the Problems which came before this Crisis which showed it was on the way! We look back and can see clearly the warning signs that we chose to ignore. 

And why? Why don't we tend to pay attention to signs and signals and act on them at the point at which they appear? Why do we have the tendency to let things get out of control in our lives before we're willing to pay attention? Why do we need an actual "wake up call" before we're willing to stare reality in the face? 

Because we're not taught to honor our own knowing. We're taught that unless there's hard evidence of something, we can't know anything. 

We're taught that things have to be seen to be believed. I believe that there are some things which need to be believed to be seen. This knowing of yours is one of them. Each of us knows things.... it's instinctive, and we know them as sure as we know our own names. 

So the reality is that we just don't pay attention. We're asleep. We receive Messages, and we shrug them off, or poo-poo them away. Until, that is, we're in the middle of a Crisis, and we can't postpone the inevitable anymore. Then we pay attention quickly! 

So my challenge to you is this: 

Wake up! 

In all things professional and personal, begin to pay attention to that little voice inside you which whispers Messages to you. It's never wrong. When you hear it, act on it! 

Imagine how much heartache and suffering you could spare yourself if you acted on that first Message, rather than waiting for the Crisis! Imagine how great you'd feel if you acted on a Message, got yourself out of a bad situation, and later could look back and say "Wow... am I glad I didn't have to go through that," rather than, "Oh Noooooooooo! This is horrible! I can't believe I let things get to this point!" 

Trust your knowing. Even when it's not clear why you should. Believe your self when it gives you guidance. It'll always be reliable!

Comments

[Debbie Ally]

Great article and I'm glad you reposted it. This is something I remember you telling me when you were training me years ago. I kept it and refer to it often.

Trusting our inner knowing is often a hard lesson to master but the rewards of constant practice are immeasurable.

You ROCK Anastacia! Big hugs...

[Yvonne Thompson]

Anastacia, this excellent! Priceless! Well said! Thank you for this.

[Diana Soloman]

Hi Anastacia, It was so interesting reading this, as I started writing this weekend about trusting my own knowing... And wondering why I don't...

Here I am, in my mid-fifties, and have had plenty of lessons, I assure you, this lifetime, to show me that I can trust that knowing voice. I can trust that red flag, that little niggle that says something is not right. And yet again and again I choose to overlook it, think I must be just being nervous, I should give people a chance, give it another try, yada yada.

Synchronicity in the air, that I read your blog and you are talking of it, too. So I commit to myself once again to TRUST that voice when I hear it, and save myself the crisis.

Thanks again.

Diana