Life's too short to tolerate...anything!

Life is long and wonderful, and there are countless opportunities for incredibly fabulous experiences. But life is absolutely too short to tolerate...anything.

What I mean is that if this is the only life that any of us knows for sure she’s going to have, then it’s crazy to spend any of its precious moments putting up with things we don’t like.

And you know I talk about this all the time in my work—I’ve been writing about it here on VMoxie for 5+ years. Zapping tolerations is one of the absolute best things you can do to help yourself move ahead in life (and biz).

I’ve just zapped a HUGE toleration of mine, and I thought I’d share it with you here.

My full first name is Anastacia. I’ve always been known as Stacy. And, of course, all of you know me by that name, too.

Several years ago, in fact, close enough on the tail end of my 40th bday that I thought maybe I was having a mid-life crisis, it started becoming important to me to use my full name.

I halfheartedly tried to get people to call me Anastacia. I say halfheartedly because I didn’t push the issue. I was grateful for those who did it, and didn’t fuss with those who didn’t. I loved when people would use Anastacia just because I’d asked, and tried not to care when it didn’t stick.

With Stacy being so much shorter and easier in so many ways, if a new friend, knowing me as Anastacia, met an old friend calling me Stacy, it took the new friend less than a nanosecond to pick up the Stacy flag. Again, I didn’t push it.

Over the past few years, the voice inside me that said it’s important has grown stronger. I wondered what, if anything, I should consider before deciding whether to use it in business. And finally, I decided to consult some folks smarter than I am. And those experts advised me to not change a thing.

They warned that “Stacy Brice” was a brand, and the change would screw with that.

They warned the people would think me snooty for moving from a “simple” name like Stacy to the likes of Anastacia.

They warned that people wouldn’t be able to spell Anastacia, much less pronounce it.

They warned that it was a baaaaad idea, all the way around.

And I listened.

I kept straddling the fence—using Anastacia in my personal life, and Stacy in business. And as time went by, I found myself growing increasingly unhappy.

And then I reached out to the only person I knew who had changed her first name and lived to tell the tale (from a biz perspective). The lovely Baeth Davis was a wonderful sounding board, and what I realized was that it—my fence sitting—my vast toleration—had grown into something absolutely untenable if I wanted to live my best life. If I wanted to impact the people around me. If I wanted to love myself and the world. If I wanted to be wholly authentic. And of course I do want those things. I’m all about that, and always have been (and it's all in my hands, by the way).

Once there, in that space, I knew there simply was no other option. Experts be damned ( I get that this sounds a bit dramatic, and trust me, it really was!), I needed to step up and step into the name of my heart, and stop screwing around!

It took me literally one day to start telling the world that I was going to be making this transition. Less than two weeks later, and despite the fact that I’ve made the changes in about a bazillion places, there are still more changes to make. I have to say that you’d never realize how many spots your name shows up online until you do something like this. How lucky am I to have an amazing VA, huh? :)

And I feel amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing. The moment I made the decision, I felt like I’d lost another 110lbs! And I’ve been met with such kindness, and such joy from people who, instead of finding me snooty, are asking me how to pronounce my name (it’s ana-STAY-zha, in case you’re wondering!), and why it has a “c” instead of an “s” (because that’s how my mother spelled it!), and whether I’m Greek or Russian (I’m neither), and how hard was it to get my new name as my Twitter ID (surprisingly easy!). TONS of really great questions and encouraging notes. That’s the reality of it.

Zapping tolerations is very much like cleaning out a closet. In the doing of it, something happens to make room for more amazing stuff, and the less than amazing fades to the background. And that’s what makes it worth doing. This lesson has taught me that in new and powerful ways.

Bit O’Moxie: Life (including biz!) really is way too short to tolerate things. In order to love your life (and biz), it had to be the way you want it. What have you been tolerating that you’re ready to stop? Leave me a comment and let me know when you do it so I can celebrate with you!

Comments

[Em Koenig]

I'm at my kitchen table this morning, enjoying the view into my music room. This music room - so full of memories of my late husband practicing with his barbershop quartet, and piano lessons when our sons were young - that I have allowed to stand as an empty canvas mirroring my sense of emptiness still had the standard white painted walls from the original construction 13 years ago. Like you, all of a sudden it became important to redo that space into my own style. Yesterday, it received its first coat of burgundy paint -- and the warmth I feel resonating from that room is a simple "you did it". It has been waiting for me to be ready for all these years, and now I am.

[Amy Kinnaird]

Anastacia, if my name was this beautiful, I'd certainly be using it! Glad you made the change. It's YOUR name, after all. What could be more authentic than that.

[Desiree]

I never have stopped missing those Daily Assistants. :(