Virtual Moxie - The Cure For The Common Virtual Assistance Practice

Why not tell the inner mule to get moving?

Last week, I wrote about how responses to a work-related post by Jen brought out my inner mule. If you haven't read that, you'll need to for this post to make sense.

Georgianna wrote to ask me why I wouldn't tell the mule to get over herself and move past those feelings.

She wanted to know why I wouldn't respond to Jen and ask for clarification about why Jen wanted info sent via snail mail rather than a more expedient electronic method. She said that asking, rather than assuming, is a far more "adult" way to deal with things, and she wondered why I wouldn't do that.

Taking Jen out of the mix and talking about being in this situation with any potential client, the "why" is simple: The potential client doesn't deserve that much of my time and attention.

I'm going to talk about that in two ways:

The biz perspective

Every minute I spend marketing is a minute I can't also be doing billable work. So it behooves me to spend my marketing time where it best serves me. And, generally speaking, no prospective client--especially one there's no already-established connection to--deserves a minute of that precious marketing time unless I feel convinced it's in my best interest. When my mule (which is part of me--part of my intuition/wise self) gives me information, that's really all I need to make a decision for myself to walk away from the potential opportunity. When any part of me gives me information that tells me to walk away, it's super smart for me to listen.

The relationship perspective

People with whom you have relationships, where there's a good give and take and established genuine connection, do deserve more from you than anyone else. But the person who wrote that ad wasn't in that situation with me. And as such, there's no reason for me to look deeper, or spend my valuable marketing time trying to "figure out" what she may have meant so that I can find a reason to move forward.

Look--every PC will come onto your radar in some way. And some of them will be people you don't know at all. If you don't know them, you have no relationship at all with them, and you owe them no good relationship juju (including your time to figure out what they MIGHT mean by what they've written or said). Even people you know slightly or tangentially aren't owed that (although they probably are owed the courtesy of an email or call to say that you're not the right VA, and to be wished well on the search).

Only people you know and have an established relationship with would be deserving of your time to discover what's underneath what you've already heard or seen. And then, only if you really want to and think that there maybe have been something miscommunicated or misunderstood. Otherwise, there, too, it's an email or call to do the courtesy of saying you're not going to pursue the opportunity.

The upshot--or why not to ignore your inner mule

Your inner mule is there to help you. It's a silent partner in life and work. It's there to help you figure things out that your more "rational" brain doesn't understand. And 99.9% of the time, you can take the information you get from it, or any other part of your wise self, to the bank. It's so reliable, in fact, that to side step it is foolish. I'd like to think that every person reading this does NOT see him or herself as foolish. Don't start now. ;)

Bit O’Moxie: Pay attention to information you're getting. Trust it. And remember to assess the relationship status between you and the PC, because if you only want to spend your time where it's going to really serve you, it becomes far easier to get clear that the most expeditious handling of a request--in any direction--is the best bet. And sometimes, that's really just to walk away.

What happened with my inner mule

I saw fabulous Jen’s awesomely crafted ad today for an inspired helper. I’m posting it here for two reasons.

1. If you read it, you’re the one she needs, and you are excited to respond, you can go for it!
2. I wanted to share some thoughts it brought up for me, in case they’re helpful in some way for you. :)

First, I want to be clear that I really hope Jen gets great response to this ad, and finds a super-fab inspired helper or two. ♥

And here’s what happened when I read the post.

I was totally with it, loving it, in fact. I was, as always, digging her writing style and voice, and then I got to the point where she asks for stuff to be snail mailed to her.

That’s when my inner mule sat down. You know that mule, don’t you? It’s the one that sits down, digs its heels in, looks at something--giving it the stink eye, and says, “Whoa! Are you kidding? Not for love or money am I going a single step further. Nuh uh. No way.”

And why did that make my inner mule sit down? I’ve said I think Jen’s fabulous. She’d probably be super intriguing to work with. So what’s up with the mule thing?

For me, one of the greatest things about working virtually is that it offers convenience, effectiveness, and efficiency. We have tools and technology that allow us to do so many things more easily than ever before in the history of mankind. Snail mail is anything BUT one of those tools. I dare say that, in a virtual toolbox, snail mail is one of the last-used tools at this point.

So tying my hands, and requiring me to use a tool that’s not especially great leaves me feeling really resistant.

More, I get that it’s probably meant to be a test of sorts. A test to see if a person can follow directions. A test to see if a person will follow directions. A test to see if there’s fit.

And as much as I get that, I hate being tested professionally (how about you?). That’s the other reason the mule sat down. I don’t do tests for clients—ever. I don’t do samples or tests. I do relationships. And testing, right out of the gate, simply doesn’t offer a hugely relational feeling. Plus, if I think you're testing me right out of the gate, what would I have to think the rest of my time with you is going to be like?

It also feels controlling. It feels full of a need to tell another how to do things, rather than partnering with an expert to get things done—and trusting that expertise (that one bit does--although she earlier mentions not wanting to control how her inspired helper does things). I wouldn’t work with a client who wanted to control how things get done--not even one thing. That would actually make me an employee, and you know how I feel about biz owners who have employees misclassified as contractors. Control is a big piece of that equation.

My post really isn't about Jen at all. I realize that none of this may be what Jen intended to evoke. It doesn't matter, because I'm the one reading it and deciding if it's for me--just as you will when you read it. In my biz I'm the one who matters most. In yours, you are. And in every conceivable way, things are passed through our own filters so we can make our own decisions.

I also realize that I may be very different from you, or you, or even you over there. Different from anyone who actually decides to answer Jen via snail mail. And that’s cool, because as I’ve said many times, it really is all about fit. And part of fit is noticing how a person shows up, and how that lands for you. From this post of hers, it’s super clear to me that my mule and Jen wouldn’t fit in this context—no matter how great I think she and her work are (and I think they’re pretty super!).

And therein lies the point of the post, or—at least—the point of the second part of the post. I, you, any of us can get sucked in by the fabulosity of a client. We can step over our standards due to a desire to work with someone unique, different, and special. And sometimes; rarely, actually, that works out, but more often, it simply won’t. As my mama said, “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken poop.” If you don’t feel resonance on all levels, there’s no fit. It’s really as simple as that.

Don’t ever let the fabulosity of a potential client talk you out of your inner mule. Listen to that resistance if you hear it. Pay attention to what your body tells you when you feel something. Notice if something inside you feels pinged by something said/unsaid—even in someone’s writing. And be willing to honor, without question, whatever you’re noticing/hearing/getting.

Bit O’Moxie: When you do, you honor and respect yourself and the fabulous potential client, by not wasting anyone’s time or energy. And that’s a very good thing, indeed.

Be yourself, Cowboy.

After seeing the sneak of Letters to Juliet (super-sweet, and would be a great date movie--go see it!) on Sunday, I settled in at home with some tea, and time to focus on Social Media. I ended up short circuiting in fairly short order, because everywhere I looked, I was bombarded with messages of what I *must* do to be successful.

• I *must* focus on doing one thing in my business so I don’t confuse people
• I *must* tweet only 100% useful content
• I *must* give to get
• I *must* be responsible to my followers
• I *must* follow back
• I *must* blog about just one topic so I don’t confuse my readers
• I *must* do article marketing (because it’s the #1 way to attract new biz)
• I *must* blog (because it’s the #1 way to attract new biz)
• I *must* do an ezine (because having a list is the #1 way to attract new biz)

You’ve seen the statements. But do you know what’s true? None of it. Pay it no mind. Truly. Unless you like it.

See, what’s true is that this is the freaking wild west, and anything goes. There is no sheriff of Social Media town. There are no laws. There is no “true” use or “right” use (except what you agree to when you accept a company’s TOS). But beyond that? Do what you like and what feels good to you.

It simply doesn’t matter what I believe, or that some A-list blogger may unfollow you if he doesn’t like the way you use Twitter, or that anyone with the program du jour is feeding you today’s party line in order to sell you said program du jour.

It just doesn’t. ‘Cause they don’t know—any more than you do. ‘Cause in the wild west, there are no rules. And everyone does what he or she wants. And some do better than others—that’s just reality, anywhere and everywhere in life. In this world--you stake your claim to some territory and you put up a house and you tend your chicken, and you hunt for food.

And if things don’t work out so well where you are, you go stake a claim on some new territory and try again.

That’s all that ANY of the folks involved in Internet marketing and Social Media marketing are doing. They are staking claim and seeing what happens. And tomorrow, despite what anyone says about sticking with stuff, if a bigger better deal comes their way, or they see a better place to stake a claim, they’ll be over there in a second.—and telling you how great it is and to accept that as the new gospel.

What I think many people forget is that you get to choose. Choose who to pay attention to, how to be, what to say, what to think (novel, huh?), who to follow, HOW to follow, what tools to use. You get to choose.

Bit O’Moxie: So do what you want. You'll find your peeps--one way or the other. I'm convinced that there are peeps for every last one of us.

Sometimes, no agenda is the best agenda. Sometimes being focused is the best thing to do. At the end of the day, your involvement with SM has to be fun for you--or you won't continue with it.

And the best way to do that? Well, it’s 100% up to you. Whatever you do, you’ll absolutely make your mark. So what’s it to be? What others tell you is the way… or what feels good to you and is a joy to do…or some combination of all of it?

She's so mean but I don't care
I love her eyes and her wild wild hair
Dance to the beat that we love best
Heading for the nineties
Living in the wild wild west
- Escape Club

When should a client consider hiring vs working with a Virtual Assistant?

There’s a point (there are actually probably several, but I want to address just one today) at which a client’s need doesn’t fit well with the Virtual Assistant model. That’s when the client’s need for administrative help becomes so great that he really should, for financial and/or legal reasons, hire an employee.

Where’s that line? It’s going to be different for different people. But I’ll say that, in my view, any client with a Virtual Assistant whose fee is $50+ per hour, and who is consistently needing more than 10 hours/week is probably financially better off hiring an employee (even a virtual one). And at the point that he reaches or surpasses 20 hours/week, he’s probably legally better off as well.

The financial argument is simple. Number of hours X cost of hours will always tell the tale in terms of how smart using a model is. And in most places, it wouldn't it be as costly to have an employee as it would cost to pay a Virtual Assistant.

To quote myself, "Virtual Assistance was never created to be the inexpensive alternative to hiring employees, but the convenient, efficient and cost effective one." I've said that so often, I can say it in my sleep. And it's 100% true. And, like any other "convenience" model (think 7-11), there's a premium paid for it. 

Is it convenient? You bet--there's a lot of ease involved with this model. Is it efficient? Absolutely. Is it cost effective? Only up to a point. And the savvy business person has to seriously define for himself where ease/convenience becomes foolhardiness. That’s where the rubber has to meet the road.

I also understand that many people want to disregard tax law as “law.” But it is law, and breaking it can have serious consequences. Having the IRS determine that someone paid as a contractor is actually an employee has the possibility of crippling a business. So the less that the client/VA relationship looks like employment, the better. I’m betting that retaining the services of a Virtual Assistant beyond what the “work” world knows to be “regular part time” hours might make it look too much like employment.

I know I don’t want to test that theory. And I’m betting most of the client population wouldn’t, either.

Now, we could argue that a client would rarely need ONE Virtual Assistant for all that time, and that it might be smart to suggest to him that he build a team. I absolutely support that suggestion. It moves things back into the convenient, efficient, and cost-effective space, because there's no way to ever get a whole team's talent in one employee, so it removes both the financial and legal challenges in one fell swoop.

But I've talked with more than my share of clients recently who want ONE person for GOBS of hours. GOBS, I tell you. So they do exist, and there's a likelihood that if you haven't run into one of them, you will.

Is it your job, as a Virtual Assistant, to tell a client how to structure his business to get his support needs met, how to spend his money, or how to protect himself legally? Possibly not. But it’s smart to have the conversation as it’s merited, just in the same way you’d have a conversation about the best ways for a client to achieve any other goal he may have.

At the end of the day, a client has the right and responsibility to make his own decisions. And overpaying for his admin needs, or running the risk of having his practices scrutinized by the Feds are choices he needs to make—or walk away from.

But you show yourself as a consummate professional when you’re willing to have the conversation, even as you know that it might mean that he’ll make a different decision that could lead him away from your practice.

Bit O’Moxie: Standing for the client is always a fabulous idea. Remember, when you stand for the client, you ultimately stand for yourself and your practice, too.