So you think you're partnering...but are you?

So you all know that the concept of “partnering” with clients originated with me and the Virtual Training Program at AssistU, right? If you didn’t, you do now. I’ve been teaching this concept for nearly 13 years, at this point, and now it's one of the commonly accepted concepts for our profession. Pretty smart of me to introduce it. Pretty smart of you if you're working in partnership!

But for those of you who aren’t AssistU-trained and picked the concept up from other Virtual Assistants, there’s a piece of the bigger picture that I want to make sure you get. It’s this Bit O’Moxie:

In order for it to be a genuine partnership,
your clients have to give to you, as well.

That giving can come in the form of referrals, of giving you full and complete access to all the intellectual capital and resources they have at their disposal, in showing up and caring about how your business is doing, in making great suggestions for ways you might move your business forward, in keeping you and your business top-of-mind all the time, and of being whatever help they can be.

Sounds a lot like some of what you give to them, yes? Well, it needs to come back to you, too! You deserve it, and it makes sense, doesn’t it, that if you’re going to put time, energy, commitment, and focus behind someone else’s success, you deserve to have the same done for you.

Without this giving back piece, what you have isn’t a partnership in any real sense. Instead, you have a transactional relationship where you work, and the client pays. It’s no different, really, than the relationships people have with other vendors they use regularly, like the dry cleaner, or massage therapist. These relationships happen as needed. And although the same vendor is usually chosen for a single type of work (people go to the same dry cleaner, and the same massage therapist, for example), the “transaction” is around exchanging work for money. The client doesn’t give anything else to the vendor. The client doesn’t help the vendor in any real way (other than by being a customer).

If that’s really what you have in your relationships with your clients, and it works for you, that’s ok—and don’t kid yourself that you’re working in partnership. You’re simply not.

What kind of relationships do you want to work in? If it’s partnering relationships, be sure that you’re actually partnering, rather than just using a cool buzz word. And if you don’t care about partnering, don’t pander to the concept, and, instead, build exactly what you want. Life's simply too short to do anything else.

(This is a repost from VM -- October of last year)

Comments

[Ruth Martin, MaplewoodVA]

What an eye-opening and timely post, Stacy. While I encourage partnering in my client relationships I can say that I have limited true partnerships in place. The others lean towards transactional where I give more than I get in return. Is there a way to entice more from clients? Have you found the partnerships to be organic?

[Stacy Brice]

Hi, Ruth!

I believe that partnerships are deliberately created, and that goes even for the ones that seem to have happened organically. We're either intentional, or we're unconscious. And good relationships--genuinely GOOD relationships, require intention.

Like anything else in a relationship, it's hard to get an other--not predisposed to the new thing you want--to change. You can't MAKE the other do it.

So the best way to partner with clients is to create partnerships from the beginning.

And that's simply a matter of your knowing what you want and expect, and conveying it to the client during the interview/consultation process.

If it's important to you and the client isn't up for it, then the client isn't ideal and the conversation can end you have a clear reason to step away from taking another step forward with that client.

As for what to do now that you have clients with whom you have transactional relationships, consider creating new standards for yourself, and for what you expect from a partner, first. Then schedule a call with each client, laying out what you've learned ("Jack, I recently learned a lesson about partnering that was really big for me, and I've decided to move my business in the direction of working in true partnership. I'd like you to consider that with me"), as well as what you would like to see in your relationship moving forward, and asking the client to come on board with the new type of relationship.

Some will love it, some will hate it, and you can ultimately decide if you care to continue with those who don't love it. Maybe you do--for now, but continue to look for a client who wants to partner, letting the non-partnering client go when the new partnership has been initiated.

Does that help?
S

[Ruth Martin, MaplewoodVA]

Yes ma'am, this has been a great converstaion. Going forward I'll be more intentional in stating my expectations. I want and deserve the whole package. Keep educating about partnerships and its realities, Stacy. Many thanks.

[Mary-Lou Ashton]

Stacy have you been reading my mind lately? Have you got a probe in my brain I don't know about? LOL I have just been experiencing exactly what you are talking about but was not able to articulate it the way you so clearly have here. A transactional client I am in the process of letting go and in the door walks the true partnership. Thanks to you I am now even clearer about my last transactional and long standing client that needs to go now. I want, intend and deserve partnerships in my business. That is where I thrive.

Have a fabulous day!

Mary-Lou