Wherever you are today--you put yourself there.

As you may know, this month is 31 Days of Self-Care, and I’m running a nine-week salon as well, where we’re reading Cheryl Richardson’s terrific book, Take Time for Your Life. Each week we’re reading and discussing one chapter, and then supporting one another as we engage in far better self-care.There's still time to join us if you've a mind to!

Now, it takes a lot of moxie to put yourself first. Especially for moms and people who take care of others, it seems to be antithetical. But we know that the less we care for ourselves, the more tired and overwhelmed we feel and that can lead to anger and resentment—which are antithetical to the love which put us in caring roles to begin with.

Yesterday in the Salon, I shared a thought that I wanted to bring here to you. It’s useful whether you’re facing challenges or not, either in your personal or professional life. It may be the single biggest bit O I’ve ever given voice to (although I am by no means the first to give voice to this idea). It’s this:

No one can significantly improve her circumstances unless she first accepts responsibility for putting herself in those circumstances to begin with.

Wherever you are…whatever the state of your life, your practice, your relationships, your body/health, your finances…every aspect of your life, you absolutely have to get at a deep a profound level that YOU have put yourself where you are today.

• Have a full practice of great clients? You put yourself there.
• Have a full practice of crappy clients? You put yourself there.
• Have a marriage that’s lousy? You put yourself there.
• Have terrific relationships with your kids? You put yourself there.
• In debit and out of work? You put yourself there.
• Living the life of your dreams? You put yourself there.

You. Did. It.

That’s not blame. That’s not judgment. That’s simply fact, dear hearts.

And you may have had help. I'm not saying you necessarily created it all alone. But you absolutely, positively, categorically are where you are--in the circumstances in which you currently find yourself--because of choices you made.

Until you understand and accept that, you’ll be looking around you for someone to blame or give credit to. But once you accept it, you can refine it or change it—whichever is needed.

Bit O’Moxie: While you’re looking at where you are, also look at where you want to be. And realize that every bit of any shift that’s needed is 100% inside you.

Just as you’ve created your current circumstances, you can create new ones of your own choosing. Just decide; then move in that direction.

William Hutchinson Murray wrote:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

What do you want? And do you have the moxie to create it?

Comments

[Cheryl]

This is so true Stacy - thank you for the reminder. I am struggling with this very issue and know that the responsibility is mine alone (well hopefully not completely alone) to make the changes needed to get on course to being the me I want to be!

[Nicole Paull]

I absolutely love this, Stacy. It's so true: there can be no change without acceptance of responsibility.

There's so much power in what you say: "Just as you’ve created your current circumstances, you can create new ones of your own choosing."

Thanks for always making me think!

[Jen Tanner]

Talk about synchronicity! I needed to hear this today and I *hear* it! We make choices and have more choices to make.