You can't convince the unready

My friend, Toni Jo, and I went to an Abraham-Hicks workshop in DC, recently. And while there, I was reminded about something really important—something I’ve taught in one form or another for the past 12+ years about Attraction, although Abraham said it far more eloquently than I have in the past.

That same thing was further driven home for me today when my friend Marcia wrote to me and let me know she’d posted this open letter to VAs on her blog (read it, then come back).

I turned around and wrote this to Marcia:

It's a beautiful letter to them. And it echoes what I've been saying for nearly 13 years.

Obviously, some of them have listened. And the vast majority have not; they don't believe they "need" to. And so they continue to struggle, and struggle.

So, Miss Marcia...is there something we might do together, or in tandem, to get them to listen more?

And as soon as I’d sent that, I realized there was more I wanted to say, so I wrote again:

And, how do we get the client population to listen, too? They, if anything, are even more stubborn about refusing to believe that they don't get it.

And as I finished that paragraph, what Abraham had said plopped itself into my head, and I finished with this:

Oh, wait. I just answered my own question. We don't. We don't do it for either group. They don't get it because it's not time for them to get it. They're having wondrous experiences of not getting it. And to try to help them get it would be to try to deprive them of those experiences that, for whatever reason, they've decided they need to have, *and* it would be folly for us to spend our time trying to do what can't be done anyway.

We can only impact the people who are really ready, and the people who are right on the edge of readiness.

THOSE are the ones I want to reach.

And my reason for telling you this today? It's certainly not to convince you to be more active in learning from me. No; it’s to offer it all up as a Moxie-filled Bit O'Wisdom for you and for me (as I need to really heed this myself):

You, me, Marcia, governments, even God simply cannot (not even through billion-dollar ad campaigns launched by brilliant ad and marketing folks) bring those who aren’t ready, to something they aren’t ready for. It’s just impossible—not to mention frustrating. It’s most definitely an example of rowing upstream, with no good outcome. As my friend Wayne always says, “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It’s a waste of your time, and it tends to annoy the pig.”

So if you feel like you’re paddling upstream, spending time trying to talk people into understanding who you are, what you do, why Virtual Assistance is a kick-ass profession that makes gobs of difference for people, how you can help, why you’re worth the fee you charge—any conversation like those--just stop. You can’t move them beyond where they are, and, as I said in my email to Marcia, your working to do that deprives them of experiences they clearly are meant to have.

Instead, keep talking with people, but with a new mindset and focus. Now, walk away from those who aren’t ready (maybe offering them a site like AssistU or Virtual Moxie where they can learn more if and when they’re ready to, or send them to buy Marcia's fabulous e-book--but spending no more time on educating than that).

Talk more with those who are ready. You’ll recognize them because when you start to talk, their eyes won’t glaze over (you know the look I mean!), and instead, they’ll perk up and get super interested in hearing what you have to share. And you'll find that as they perk up, you'll feel more confident, and will be able to connect more deeply and share how you can make a difference in their lives and work from a position of strength. Which will have them connect more deeply and show more interest. Which will have you connect more deeply and be able to share more with more confidence. Which will have them connect more deeply and show more interest, you see?

As you talk, they’ll ask good questions that show that they get it (or are on the edge of getting it), and get you. They are the ones more likely to say, “Hell, yeah—when do we get started?” They're the ones who are going to focus on you and starting the co-creative process, rather than telling you all the reasons working with "someone like you" would never work for them. They are the ones who won’t try to make you justify yourself to make them feel better about what they are incapable of understanding.

Just be you. Feel great about you. Be happy with you. Do what fills you with joy—whether in business or in your personal life. And spend more time talking joyfully with people who are doing the same kinds of things.

Yours is not to convince. It’s never to convince. Yours is to simply feel great, love your life, follow that energy, notice the good people when they show up, connect, and see what happens.

I look forward to seeing what happens for you!

Comments

[Antonette Artiz]

Wow, this was very powerful and timely. I just had a VA friend say to me, "How do I educate a PC that totally doesn't get it?" I wanted to say just let it go, but didn't, and now I see that I should have followed my instincts. :)

Thanks for permission to move on from those that don't get it, and spend more time with those that do!

Wonderful info in Marcia's letter. I plan on implementing lots of what she suggested.

xoxo
AA

[Marisa M]

Stacy, this was my first time visiting your website and I have read the 2 newest posts (including this one) and I have to compliment you on your writing. I will definitely be back, as I added your site to my favorites. And, I LOVE what you said at the end "Just be you. Feel great about you. Be happy with you. Do what fills you with joy—whether in business or in your personal life. And spend more time talking joyfully with people who are doing the same kinds of things." ...It is soooo true. Thanks, I needed that!