Having the Moxie to pull back when you need to

I’d been thinking that I could write Moxie on Tuesday, as usual. I mean, it’ll be the day after surgery, and I’ve been thinking that, at the very least, I could lay in bed with my Air on my lap and pound out a post.

But then I thought about something Dawn said to me last week as we talked about my schedule, and my anticipated downtime (I’ve only planned for a week—my Moxie post notwithstanding). She said to me, “Well, you’ll probably be ok, but remember to be gentle with yourself, and give yourself the time you need. Ahhh.. I know you, and I know that if you need more time, you’ll simply tell people, and reschedule stuff.”

And she’s right about that—I have absolutely no problem telling people I can’t do what they are expecting me to do. Crap happens to us all, and sometimes things need to be shuffled around a bit. Life’s like that.

And that—that it’s really ok to change your mind, change your schedule, change your plans—could very well be this week’s Bit O’Moxie. But it’s not.

Instead, I’m sharing this:

There a wall that each of us has within us. It’s the wall that each of us sometimes runs face first into while trying to get it all done, or get it all done in a certain arbitrarily defined time. This wall is called "capacity," and it shows up when we over do and things start falling apart as a result of the overdoing.

It’s smart to know where that wall is, and it’s beyond smart to stop yourself when you see it coming, but it’s not quite smashing up against your nose.

For me, it’s right here, right now—Sunday night, T-8 hours. I’m looking at tomorrow, when I’ll be having bariatric surgery and ridding myself of 4/5 of my stomach in an attempt to lose a ton of weight so I will no longer be diabetic. No small adventure, that. But I deserve for it to be an easy adventure. I deserve, then, to be able to get discharged from the hospital on Tuesday, and rest. Just rest. No computer nearby, and no Moxie post needing to be written.

So I’m writing tonight to say that there simply won’t be a Moxie post this week. And there may not be one next week, either, depending on what happens with me this week. I’m thinking good thoughts about being back here with all of you and posting. But if not?

Yeah… life’s like that. And I’m happily giving myself, and all of you, permission to do what you need to do, and to not give a fig what people think about it.

If you're interested, you can follow my journey on my personal blog, and on Facebook.

Until I’m back… :)

Comments

[Charity Robinosn]

We love you Stacy and wish you all the best!

[Evelyn Mack]

Good luck to you. I had gbs in 2004. Lost 130 lbs. It's been a wonderful journey for me. I am blessed because I had no issues whatsoever (and unfortunately I can tolerate just about anything!) I didn't exercise too much and I should have. Starting to now because I've gained 15 lbs. So, be patient, diligent and keep a positive attitude!

[Mary Koch]

Dear Stacy,

Please take care of yourself. There is nothing worse than having surgery or a major illness plus thinking about work. Everyone should have the luxury of just recuperating after they have been ill.

God Bless and I wish you a speedy and successful recovery.

Mary Koch