Speaking of making strong statements….a couple weeks ago, Erin did a terrific webcast (you want the one from June 13) in which she said (paraphrased) that, with regard to being a business owner with a personal blog, she thought that if you had strong opinions, you would be smart to tone them down even if that meant being slightly less authentic, because then you wouldn't risk offending anyone.
Then, I read this article about the kinds of lifestyle things you can do to lose your job, and the thing that really grabbed me was a quotation by a professor in Kentucky, interviewed for the article. He said, "My general advice is, don't do anything on your own time that, if reported in the local paper, would reflect poorly on you or your employer.” I realize he was talking about employment, but many people believe that with regard to how you comport yourself in your own business, too.
Today’s Bit O’Moxie is what I say: Be yourself. Don’t, of course, go out of your way to shock someone with tales of your wild romps, but don’t hide yourself, either, and never, ever sacrifice who you are, and your strong opinions (or weak ones, for that matter). The world needs you and your thoughts.
Authenticity in business is now part of what people find infinitely and irresistibly attractive, and what they actively look for in people with whom they want to do business. Transparency—your willingness to put who you are out on the table, is so important in relationship building and marketing as to make it crazy to do anything else.
And if you are not authentic, you cannot attract ideal clients and opportunities. It’s just impossible because you’re hiding who you are. When people are being attracted to who you aren’t, that never bodes well for long-term successful relationships, because you can't keep up the charade forever, and when you drop it, and they see you...then what are you going to do?
I know this first hand. My mother tried to make me into who she thought I should be. If she were alive today, she’d tell me quite forcefully, despite my obvious success, that no one would want to work with me, or really accept me as a friend, because I have a tattoo and visible piercings (18 holes in my ears—16 in one, and two in the other--and a pierced nose). But no one (to my knowledge) has ever not worked with me or refused to be my friend because of them—in fact, I often get complimented about them and about how I’m willing to be different. My now good friend, Hedy Schleifer, was a new client I was doing some consulting with, when, at our first “business” meeting, she leaned over close to me and said, “May I please touch your ear…it’s gorgeous.” I was touched by the request and said she could. She lovingly ran her finger over the rings in my left ear, and I thought about how stunned my mother would be, and how accepting Hedy was.
And that is really my every experience with being fully me. When I am, people love and accept me more. They want to be with me more, they want to work with me more, and none of my "authentic" pieces get in the way. And that’s what I really wanted to share with you today.
There’s an old adage: “It’s better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren’t.” If a client doesn’t want to work with you because of who you are, or something you believe in, or something you do on your own time, the heck with him! His loss! Good riddance! Don’t waste a second of your time feeling badly about it. Instead, look forward toward all the great people you’ll authentically attract, and who will think you’re genuinely terrific with all your quirks and differences!
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