Virtual Moxie - The Cure For The Common Virtual Assistance Practice

Take care of yourself, so you can take care of them

I went to bed last night near 4am. I simply wasn’t tired till then. The unfortunate thing was that I had to be up before 8am because my housekeeper was coming. Once she arrived and we’d talked, I started to do some work, only to realize I didn’t really have the mental bandwidth to handle it. So I quit for the day. I just stopped what I was doing, exactly where I was. Tomorrow is, after all, another day.

It reminded me of when I had a VA practice and woke up sick for the very first time since opening my business. I was truly too sick to consider working, but back then, didn’t have a clue what to do about it. I remember being truly scared to take the day off, but knew I couldn’t do anything else.

I ended up doing the only thing I could reasonably think of, and it turned out to be simply perfect. I sent an email to all my clients that said, “I’m woke up really sick and cannot work today. I’ll update you on how I am later, and will get things handled for you as quickly as I can. If there’s something you think can’t wait, please take care of it, and I’ll follow up with you later.” Then I went back to bed. Truly, right then, I didn’t give a fig if they liked what I wrote or didn’t. I was simply too sick to worry with it.

The next day, I woke feeling fine (must have been some sort of 24-hour thing), and went into my office to find email from all of them wishing me well and telling me to rest and get better soonest. The world hadn’t collapsed in my absence, and one client handled something for herself—and told me how happy she was to do it so I wouldn’t have to worry about it.

It was then that I realized that deadlines are rarely hard and fast, that just about anything can wait a day or four, and that having a strong standard around being able to take personal or sick days when I truly needed to was critical to my well-being and success, as was having a strong standard around not allowing clients to abdicate responsibility for their own businesses by becoming dependent on me.

With the next client, I added something about all of that to my Policies and Procedures, and made it a point to take care of myself when I needed to—putting myself first, over them. Never once did it cause a problem for me; I suspect my clients knew that they needed to let me take care of myself, so I could then take care of them in the way they were used to having me take care of them.

Bit O’Moxie: Nothing in the world is more important than your self-care. What standard(s) do you know you need to create and put in place with existing (and obviously future) clients so that you can put yourself first, where you deserve to be?

Friends like mine...

I just joined Facebook. I had no idea how utterly and genuinely cool it would be, or how fun and addictive. You can network personally, professionally, even both, if you like. And I spent a great deal of time looking at the applications one can add to one’s profile, and very much liked the one that allows you to display fun/snarky/thoughtful bumper stickers. One of those I chose for my own profile is:

Gotta love those standards. :)

Lest you think today’s Moxie is just all about silliness in social networking, let me tell you this:

Bit O’Moxie: The more people you know, the more people who know about you. The more authentically you represent yourself to those people who know about you, the more likely you are to get good referrals from them. Building your business by referral only is one of the nicest things you can have happen to you.

Consider joining Facebook (and look for me if you do!), or another network like it, and see how building relationships actively improves your business.

Never try to convince anyone...

Recently, I've gotten a lot of questions about how to "convince" clients of things. Questions like:

"How do I convince a client to work with me?" Or, "How do I convince a client that I'm a better fit than an off-shored VA?"

Bit O’Moxie: You don't. You have no reason to. Either clients get it, or they don't. Either they want to work with you, or they don't. Have pride in who you are, what you do, and what you can handle for clients. Let your life speak for you. There's really nothing else that's needed, and nothing else that really works.

Extra Bit O’Moxie: Need some great language to use for questions like, "Why would I want to work with you?" Or, "Why do I want to work with you when I can hire a VA in Bangalore for $4/hour?" Here it is:

"You may not." (Pause for effect)

"However, if you want someone who will genuinely care about your business, actively work for your success, and who has the mad skills and resources to help you take your business to the next level, I very well may be the person you need to be working with. Tell me...what do you think about that?"

Either the prospect will get it, and make appropriate murmuring noises as he considers what you've said, or he'll not get it, and his answer will let you know that. Let his response guide your next action. Stand tall in who you are, and never forget the value you know you create for clients.

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.

On circling the wagons

AssistU COO, Dawn Goldberg, once a fabulous VA in her own right and now owner of Write Well U, is doing something awe-inspiring and incredibly difficult. Having finished writing the first draft of a novel that hits so close to home for her you could say it nearly blows up the home, she's now in the editing phase. It's awe-inspiring and difficult because of the nature of the novel (you'll have to read it to understand why) and because, although the editing phase will be incredibly difficult, she's never wavered in her knowing that it's something she has to do. She's gutsy, and blows me away.

When she shared her concern about how that would turn out (the editing), I said, "Why not have an editing party? Invite the girls over to spend the day--we'll sit downstairs and do, well, whatever, and you can be upstairs editing. That way, if it gets hard, we can be right there for you." She mulled that over for a bit and the next thing I knew, she was inviting me to an editing party.

On the day of, Lee, Antonette, and I read the first three chapters while Dawn sat upstairs and edited. And while she was fine while we were there, she so appreciated having us there--just in case.

Bit O’Moxie: You can't have too much support in your life or business. No one gets any prizes for going it all alone--in fact, no one would be around to even know you did, or how you might have suffered for it. Ask for the help you believe you need, and then ask for more of it. Circle the wagons, as it were, before you face something really difficult, so that when you get to the difficult part, you'll have what you need.

There really is no such thing as asking for too much. So ask. Up your standard about being willing to be vulnerable with people in order to get your needs met. I think you might be surprised what happens when you do (hint: people who care for you will jump at the chance to give you what you need when they know what that is!)